Do You Believe That You’re Enough?

I’m noticing a thread that runs through my life. It reveals itself in my fears, my worries.

I don’t believe that I’m enough.

You might have seen this post on Facebook last night. I loved it, but when I explored Un-Fancy, the blogger who inspired her closet re-do, I was captivated. Minimalism.

Brett and I were drinking coffee in the living room this morning and I asked if he thought we could live as minimalists. I asked, If there were a fire in this room, is there anything here that you would save before running out? (EXCLUDING THE CAT. PEOPLE, I’M NOT A MONSTER). (Stella was asleep upstairs. She’s not part of the thought experiment. I’m not a bad pet parent, she just doesn’t have a meaningful role in this scenario.) Both of us admitted, NOPE. In spite of the fact that we’ve talked about this concept over and over, we haven’t acted on any of it.

Caroline, who writes Un-Fancy, shares this lesson: When things aren’t adding up, start subtracting” 

I started to think about why I’m such a shopaholic. Why I fill my house with things I could set fire to. Why I don’t save more/spend less. Where I put energy, resources, time.

This year Brett and I are travelling to some amazing places to see some beautiful people- experiences I will remember the rest of my life. Doesn’t investing in those moments serve me more richly? Doesn’t that hold more value than a scarf I will eventually leave in the backseat of a cab? (Rhetorical questions because OF COURSE IT DOES.)

Or more importantly, if I took away all the material trappings – Is my life enough? Are my relationships enough? Am I enough? 

It might seem a stretch to tie this back to my body issues but the truth is, I fight with myself because I don’t believe I’m enough. I don’t trust my body. Naked, I have no value. I need black flats and leather bags and blog posts and work-out-weight-loss challenges to cloth me in worthiness.

I’m starting to challenge this notion and I’m deciding where to go with it. My gut instinct when I want to try something new is to “gear up.” Literally. But what if I let go instead? What if instead of buying a new yoga mat I went on more walks wearing shoes I already own? What if I made literal space by getting rid of those floral skirts I haven’t worn since I was 22? What if I stopped shopping for a new piece of artwork for my bedroom and loved on my husband a bit more? What if I was already capable of taking care of myself? What if I’m already just the way I ought to be?

This is heavy stuff y’all. This is a chat over coffee and a talk at lunch and a pow wow with a glass of wine. It’s a lot. It really is. Thank you for being my community as I work through some of these weird things. Isn’t be 26 (or 36 or 66 or 96) the strangest thing?

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5 thoughts on “Do You Believe That You’re Enough?

  1. I was reading that same Facebook post about the wardrobe capsule today. But YOUR post resonated with me more: Naked, I’m not enough… When I want to try something new, I need to gear up first… Um, that’s ME and I have never been aware of that going on in my subconscious before! :-(. But adding clothes or accessories to my naked self in order to feel adequate for whatever social situation and gearing up for a new hobby or experience are probably the two biggest motivations for every purchase that I make. Not whether I truly need it, not whether I can afford it, but a feeling that I’m not presentable or acceptable without it. Wow. I need to think about this some more.

  2. Erin says:

    I found The Minimalists after I’d already poured through lots on tiny houses. I listened to their book Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life on Audible one night on my drive back to Kansas. In a very unminimalist fashion, I ordered Jason a copy from Amazon before I even finished the drive. We’re embracing it wholeheartedly. Thus why you now own part of my former 100+ pint glass collection. Here is their Tedx Talk (if I correctly included the link below) that gives you the premise of their books in a nice 14 minute video. I’d love to discuss over coffee, lunch, or wine next weekend or the weekend after if you are free. https://youtu.be/GgBpyNsS-jU

  3. […] I started this journey, I posed the question: Do you believe that you’re enough? Extra money is a treat, but being enough? Having enough? That is my end […]

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