Whining

Have I used up my whining points with my last post?

Can I just whine here without having to work towards some kind of revelation at the end?

Because that is what I really, really want to do.

I gained back the three pounds I lost last week IN ONE DAY. (Yes, I weigh myself every single morning. Same time, same circumstance.)

ARGH!!!

I know know know I shouldn’t have expected any different. But hyper-vigiliance can get boring really fast. Also, sometimes I get tired.

Yesterday was a snow day. I got around, drank some coffee, made some eggs. No concrete plans for the day. My friends called and wanted to hang out*, which I was, of course, completely into. I hadn’t worked out yet, I was going to have to be really disciplined to make myself a video inside anyway because of the snow, but sure. Maybe I’d work it in later. Maybe. Come over.

No surprises, I didn’t work out yesterday. Ok, fine.

Then when the girls show up, the plan has become to eat Chinese. Uhhh… Well I don’t want to not be down, we haven’t eaten lunch yet, so Brett and I go. Did I mention I wasn’t even really hungry at this point? Every Chinese place in town is closed so we settle on Pizza Hut Buffet. I show incredible restraint, but c’mon. It’s Pizza Hut Buffet.

Come home, play a few board games, have a handful or two of tortilla chips and dip, a beer. Later, starving. Handful of peanuts (roasted, unsalted.) Later, starving still. Eat a piece of leftover turkey meatloaf and salad for dinner. Later, starving again. Have a vanilla/soy milkshake.

WAKE UP FAT AGAIN.

Alright, I realize that I’m not “fat again” but JEESH. I can’t let my guard down for a single minute. I can’t just relax, hang out, and not worry worry worry about how this is going to affect my progress. I know this is part of it. Messing up. Taking a few steps back. Falling down so I can get back up BUT CAN I PLEASE JUST WHINE ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND?!

*This post sounds like my friends sabotaged me. That is not at all true. I’m an adult. I can make my own choices about how I spend my time and what I eat. So. Just to be clear.

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