Pounds Lost This Week: 3
Total Lost: 13
Pounds Left to Goal: 37
I am starting to feel frustrated. Not with my progress or my methods, but with myself. Last week I said I was eager to lose another 10 pounds so that I could get back to the weight I was when I was last trying to lose. But I am terrible at math. I am actually 20 pounds away from that goal. What I am saying is that I let myself put on over 20 pounds since the last time I said to myself, “I have got to deal with this.” That’s frustrating. I am making progress, but I am just undoing the damage I have done in the last two years. I am not really making any new progress.
I guess the fact is that this weight thing has always been about a lot more than just my physical world. I have let my body control my mind, my emotions, and my spirit. I feel like in some ways, I am conquering that for the first time, even though this isn’t the first time I have tried to lose weight. I am building a team of support that is bigger and more diverse and more dynamic than it has been before. I am listening to my body. I am trying new things (kickboxing, cycling, swimming). I am not cheating.
I have recorded all my workouts on a calendar this month. When I look back on February, I see 6 rest days. On average, I have exercised 5 days a week (sometimes more). That is a victory. That is a lifestyle change. That is a sustainable habit. (More on that later).
I have to accept the fact that in some ways, I have sabotaged myself. I ignored myself and in doing so, made it that much more difficult for me to win in this. But I believe the mistakes of yesterday cannot conquer my spirit today. Sure, if I would have started this journey two years and twenty pounds ago, I would be further along. But I tried this two years ago and I was not the person I am today. It is the person I am today who is growing, learning, and making progress. It is slow progress, but it is deliberate. And I am the one making it happen.
Next Monday, I’ll post about how February Food Resolution and share some plans for March. Thanks for coming along!