For the purposes of full discretion, let me say this: when my husband reads this blog post, it will not be the first time he’s heard these thoughts. I always feel weird when I see folks posts things online that clearly merit a personal discussion. So, again, this has been discussed- I’m just reaching out to my online homies.
So I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve been married for about 5 minutes and I already feel like I’m really dropping the ball. I’m not saying this from a point of crisis, but from a point of sincerity. I’m trying to respond instead of react.
Brett and I have been together over 5 years and even so, we are still very much in the honeymoon stage of our marriage. Getting married was awesome. I love being married. I love being Brett’s wife. I really really love that Brett is my husband.
When I give myself a personal assessment though, I just don’t feel like I’m earning a passing grade. I think so much about Brett’s role in my life and how much I appreciate him as my support and my teammate and I forget about my end of the deal. Or I feel like I do.
Another important note- Brett thinks I’m an awesome wife. This is a self evaluation moment, not a marriage-in-crisis moment. I just want to be the best I can for him, ya know?
I’m throwing this out there for a couple reasons:
1) I’m an extrovert and this is what I do.
2) Brett and I are experiencing some situations outside of our marriage that have in many ways overwhelmed us and tested our problem solving and coping skills beyond what we expected to endure during the first few months of our marriage.
3) I want people to know that being married is awesome but not easy. I want to share my challenges so that others might experience peace in camaraderie. I also don’t want anyone to be caught off guard if their honeymoon stage doesn’t actually look or feel all the much like a honeymoon after all.
But most of all:
4) I’d love some advice.
Here’s a short, incomplete list of ways I feel like I’m bombing it:
-Brett is happy when his outsides match his insides. I can neglect housework like its my job.
-Brett is touchy, feely, ooey, gooey, mushy, gushy. As I’ve noted before, I’m not much of a toucher.
-I’m so sassy. I have a snarky comment for everything. A suggestion. A remark. A critique. That’s good for no one.
-I’m a better talker than a listener.
I could go on, but I won’t because the point here is not to beat myself up. I want to be the best partner I can be to my awesome, caring, funny, intelligent husband.
I’d love any suggestions for books to read, blog posts to browse, lists to write, songs to sing, exercises to try- you get the picture. What have you done? What do you do? What have you tried?
I’ve settled on a mantra- “It’s never to late to be what you might have been.” And thus my endeavor to be Brett’s best wife- what I might have been.
|A picture. Cause otherwise this post would be boring.|